Updated: Aug 2, 2021
What Am I Willing To Risk And Can I Recover in Time to Show Up?
Having the courage to confront my spiritual mirror, with all of my flaws and weaknesses visible. Compounding my truth with experience, I stand here with nervous anxiety, wondering if I will continue sustaining my growth journey. Revealing myself and realizing I am a benefit to society, with no doubt. Do I have what it takes to push through, influence, and persuade others to evolve into their higher and better self? Am I willing to fail forward, and while in pain, get back up and keep it moving without losing my sense of self-worth?
Recognizing, Acknowledging Vulnerabilities.
What is it, the female writing these words, and who wishes to have other females in her corner, and, yet unable to jump the hurdle successfully? Why, is it? I cannot bring women into my space? Women see the same content as the men do. Yet, it is the men who show an interest in my writing, life, and other endeavors and feel I can help them, while I am ignored by the female population as I am. It baffles, and it hurts, though I am growing used to it and the hurt has dissipated in my sixty-eight years of living.
I reflect through the women’s lives in my immediate family. Our sisterhood… friends and acquaintances have fallen far, few, and in between. The so-called friends always did something foul, causing us to end the friendship. This dilemma has even transfixed itself to my gorgeous, intelligent daughter, who has proven she will give you what is needed in an emergency. In good times, her gifts of love and friendship, ignored and forgotten. Jokingly, I would say maybe our great-great grands had a ‘root’ put on them being from Louisiana, and where they practiced and believed in Voodoo passing it down through generations.
However, in reality we are all given our unique test. I am pushing fast upon sixty-nine years of age. My champions are in my mind, relatively babies. However, they are goal-oriented adults, with inspired minds, clear vision, and a desire to make the world a better place.
The will of the creator guiding my steps will be the link, the motivator to encourage and move those along, and who grasp my sincere willingness to help them, as they invite me too. A leader is, open, honest, transparent and vulnerable, as many humans may wish to be. I consciously work, and practice it in everything I do. I learn from others who have a longer and professional track record than myself. Reading books, articles help me stay in tuned to current and past events. You can call me, and correctly a ‘Lifelong Learner,’ who has re-created herself many times over.
Yet, I may slip up sometimes. I like many others, not perfect, no one is. A constant struggle to show up, non - biased, non-jaded, with a smile on my face, love and happiness in my heart and a brain that is not stressed out by the day’s events. I will recognize and respect in others our shared faults. judging others is not something I care to do. I, am consciously aware of where I have been and the things I have done. What I will spotlight is - we can overcome difficulties and failures together and be the success we envision for ourselves, families, communities and the world.
"I write to share the detailed imagery existing in the catacombs of my mind. Heart beating with excitement for it knows not the selfish journey. My desires are for you to love my mind and follow me through the passageway of discovery. I will grow being in your company and by your excellence become excellent." ~ Clover Journesy.
Congratulations on completing Leader School!
The world is waiting on you and we are rooting for you!
Warmly, -Leader School Team.
**Clover Journesy aka Ja'Nala Mamdu, a writer, blogger, story-teller and creative writing coach and nature is my bestie.