When and Where (I) Enter One Year Later

Clover Journesy Copyright © 2021

One year ago, and held in an emotional prison of an unforgiving darkness. My confidence had sunk lower than the deepest well, dried up from lack of rain. I told myself, “This is not who my mother raised,” and I needed to face the excruciating reality that the marriage is over. I will no longer accept being ignored and made to feel invisible, or not worthy, but how do I get out? The hurt blinded my whole being; logical decision making had become screwed and not wanting my next move based on emotions. In the past, I lost a lot by making spontaneous knee jerk decisions.

I, will pray, meditate, and ask Allah ta ala to guide and protect me, then I will know what to do next. In the meantime, I began packing, selling the furniture that I purchased two months prior and updates to the house interior, with the money I earned in my online marketing business. I began sharing my situation with my adult children and continued to sell, give away and pack until the answer of what to do next came to me.

A month later, I had packed most of my possessions. My daughter called and said, “Mom, come out and stay with us; you do not need to be in that situation, and save your IRA and do not lease an apartment. Rent is crazy.” My loving son said, mom you’ll be at a loss without your car. Do not worry, I will have it transported. Mashallah, this is when I thank God, that he placed in my heart to be a good, supportive and loving mom to my children when they were younger and through to today. Had it been any other way, I don’t know where I would be at this exact moment. One year later, I have goals. I’m mentally rested and physically invigorated, living in a stress - free and loving environment surrounded by my family. Alhamdulillah.

Through chaos comes order. Every valley is a lesson and every hill is a warning. Listen to your heart and do not let your brain hold you hostage by fear. "Trust yourself and know you are God's creation and only wants the best for you - you must prove it by making the first decisive move and the help will be there to protect and guide you going forth. Subhanallah

14 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All